Top 5 Worst Minor Injuries

I’m like totally fine but it really hurts, okay?

5. Brutal/strategically located bruises.

I wish I had a photo of my friend’s bruise this summer acquired from a soccer ball to the leg. The thing had hexagonal lines. Luckily, it was not strategically placed on a joint/the butt and thus was less likely to be disturbed.

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[ It can be somewhat enjoyable to watch the colour progression, I suppose. ]

4. Paper cut.

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Not that kind. Especially when you forget about it for a moment and use hand sanitizer.

3. Blistered/chapped/split lips.

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How am I supposed to remedy the situation if I can’t use saliva and may or may not be addicted to lip balm? The struggle is real and gets realest in these Canadian winters.

2. Stubbed toe/knee/arm/head/body part.

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This one is a lot less insidious than the chapped lips or #1, but that moment of curse-worthy, shooting pain really deserves the runner-up spot.

1. Blisters.

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All females are familiar with this one. Whether it was caused by the cute Steve Madden flats, sparkly prom heels, or brand new omg they’re so comfy leather boots – you have known a blister. It usually starts to hurt when you have >/= 3 hours left in the shoes, makes it painful to move in/remove these shoes. You’re left with no option but to wear flip-flops (until you get a particularly gnarly in-between the toes blister) since all your shoes seem to suddenly agitate the site. Eventually it becomes a little pillow of puss which is kind of cute except that it inevitably ‘pops’ at the worst possible and least sanitary time, and then finally scabs. With approx. 8 zillion shoes on the market at this very moment you think they would have the ‘no blister’ formula down by now. Or y’know, you could acquire one of these some other way (see above).

Be careful out there, people.

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